REVIEW: Schwarzegger is back in action in ‘The Last Stand’

REVIEW: Schwarzegger is back in action in ‘The Last Stand’

Everything about “The Last Stand” is designed to resuscitate Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career. And though it’s impossible to praise the quality of the product, it’s also easy to see how well it will sell. So consider the title ironic; this jokey action flick will make enough money to ensure that he’ll be baâ€" ... oh, forget it. You’ll get enough of that sort of thing if you see the movie.

Our one-time Terminator is now closer to retirement, living out his later years as the sheriff of a tiny Arizona town. Nothing much happens there, until he gets a call from FBI agent Bannister (Forest Whitaker). Cartel kingpin Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) has escaped custody, and is racing for the border.

While Bannister’s agents blow every opportunity to capture Cortez, Sheriff Owens gathers his small crew: feisty Sarah (Jaimie Alexander), goofy Mike (Luis Guzmán) and gun-crazy Lewis (Johnny Knoxville). When Cortez races into town, they’re ready for him.

The script is a mess, built on lazy clichés, stilted jokes and easy payoffs. What the movie does have, though, is enthusiasm. Director Kim Jee-woon (“The Good, the Bad, the Weird”) dampens his surreal sensibility, but knows to go big â€" very, very big. Expect crazy chases and ugly standoffs and ultra-bloody shootouts.

A fully engaged Whitaker should inspire all Oscar winners who take paycheck roles, and Noriega makes a compelling villain. Guzmán is shamelessly hammy as our comic relief, while Knoxville seems to be improvising his ridiculous role.

And then there’s Arnold.

As a personal tribute, “The Last Stand” is blatantly needy but cannily self-deprecating. He calls himself old; someone immediately contradicts him. He moves slowly, but miraculously puts away criminals half his age. Throughout, we are encouraged to cheer him on, to build him up and celebrate who he once was, and who he is today. He happily plays along, delivering justice and quips in equal measure.

Some of this is amusing, some of it absurd (he righteously declares, “My honor is not for sale”). Most likely, it will all be embraced. After all, Americans love a comeback story. Especially when it includes cool car chases and wry one-liners.